Stories without endings

Long time no see, or talk I guess haha. Well the reasons I haven't been blogging are just complete lazy-ness I knew that if I stopped for more than a day I would lose my commitment...oh well haha I'm going to try to get back in track but no promises.

Now that I'm doing this I truly miss it. Crap happens and now that I've been avoiding this it feels like I have no one to talk about or no one to express my self with. My friends are always a good cup but I'm a listener not a talker...some people don't understand that because they are the complete opposite but other people out there are just getting to understand the fact that I am who I am and it's actually hard for me to say what's inside specially when I'm talking to someone directly. This is a form of talking to almost an anonymous crowd. The reason is cause I don't personally know some of the readers so it's easy to just say what I gotta say. I'm not saying that Im the type of person that would just randomly express my feeling to a stranger I'm just saying I'm the type of person that would walk up to a stranger and ask them their favorite color haha. Some of these readers know me but the thing is they read and they are fine with that they don't ask or anything and they are more than welcomed to do so I'm just saying that they don't haha.

I'm currently spending a whole


week in Palm Desert, CA with my family and a bunch of my friends. We got here Friday and it's been awesome we've done so many things it's not even funny haha but I must admit I have found myself bored. I was also at a concert with my nigga last week. We went to go see the Scream It Like You Mean It tour. The tour had six bands with Silverstein headlining. To be honest I only went to go see two bands...We Came As Romans and Dance Gavin Dance haha I have always bagged on Silverstein and Emery, I had never been a fan. We left the house at like 5 when the show started at around 445 haha the house of blues was around 2 hours away in the sunset boulevard in LA. We got there just in time to see WCAR's last two songs and I got to see DGD's full set. Then emery and Silverstein came and I just enjoyed the show they played good and I had fun haha. I moshed and got down. We ended up at a drive-thru of Jack In The Box and getting home late it was pure fun haha...

The week spent here at the desert has been complete relaxation haha there have been little things that bother me and such but that's also been fun haha...I've had time to just relax and talk to by friends about life and such, something I enjoy. We met some friends but I think we scared them off haha


I'll post another blog in a bit, later on...

Night for Now :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

So Far Left, It's Right

Hello there, its been a while haha

So i took a little break from the whole daily blogging to come up with better thoughts and such. I felt like the blog kept getting dryer and dryer so that was my end result. But now im back and my mind is full of thoughts and my phone is full of pictures haha

This past week has been rather chaotic, in a good way. Instead of staying home and doing nothing like usual summer days are spent in this bare city i spent them doing unimaginable things!!! like....walking haha and doing stuff haha

The week was full of random encounters with people i hadn't seen in ages and fun times with the usual people i kick it with. I bearly got any sleep this week and it hasn't been a problem what so ever. I would explain every day with clear details if i could but i am a goldfish and my memory is joke. I don't remember crap haha. Non the less i had loads of fun. My cousins that were staying at my house are now gone and ummm i don't miss them haha they were fun and all but i usually don't miss people, as sad as that might sound. I had loads of fun with them and i can't wait till i go visit them in Puerto Rico this winter.

Another big thing that happened was my friend is now married. The kid that ive known for the longest time is now married. congrats :)

My undeserving break brought about multiple things, it actually got me to work on my art a little more and I got a couple sketches done. They aren't too great but yet again their just sketches. My summer is kinda screwed now. My art teacher sent me my summer assignment to enter Advanced Placement Art and it's a B****....I have to go out and buy over 100 dollars on supplies for a class that is going to be useless thanks to the unprofessional teacher I have. Whatever. My drawings have been getting better and no thanks to him... The sketches that I'm showing were completely out of randomness. The one with multiple arms wasn't even meant to be that. I started to sketch lines and ended up with arms and finished with a man. I didn't know what to do for the faces so I kept them white on both...I look at my art and I am proud but I usually end up throwing it aside or hiding it because no matter what I draw it usually ends up being amazing through my eyes but horrid through the eyes of others. I still haven't found support for the grotesque art I make and enjoy so I tend to back off on it, especially on a class where everyone loves drawing pretty eyes, mountain tops, hearts, beautiful portraits and babies...this is not the place is belong in haha

That brings me to my recent thought. After seeing peoples life's and reading peoples adventures, I am eager to leave this town. I don't hate this town, I believe it's a great place to live and grow up but not a place for free-minded, imaginative people. The whole city is built on a rubric that people must follow. Well that's how I see it. People here don't see a problem so they don't change or explore. Big cities are where people don't know each other, but friends are abundant. A place where everything you need is around the corner and repetitive. Where walking is recommended and driving is ridiculous. Haha cities like LA, Seattle, Santa Fe, San Fran, NY and others. This is what usual teens say and think of but I find myself finding a deeper though in it. I don't feel the need to escape my home or get out of this place, I just think it would be easier to be myself in those places where people don't care but they express.

This also reminds me of another thought or I should say, feeling. That feeling of being needed. This is not something that bothers me frequently but I always think of it...Do they really need me? Am I just an object? Am I here just for them? Crap like that, I usually never ask my self this but when I do I find myself in a crash course of realizing little details in people but I always end up where I started...not caring haha. It's just that simple, those things don't bother me. I don't care, I love doing things for others in return of nothing. Reviving doesn't make me feel alive, exploring, living, and giving is a good enough present for me haha. It's that simple...

In between the last paragraph and this one there was a time gap...even though you can't see it there was a pretty big one. The last paragraph was written past monday and it's now Sunday. I originally wanted this break to be a week long but things happened that made me extend it. I also realized I'm afraid of posting this because that means I have to go back to doing it daily and even though I've missed it sooo much I feel like I am not ready. But I am and I will post this today.

I'm that extra week so many good things happened but so many went wrong as well. I

don't want to explain just know that at times I felt like I was truly enjoying myself but now I kinda feel like a complete asshole by ruining someones special day, their birthday...sooo yea that's all I have to say about that...I just came home from watching the movie inception...go watch it, it's practically lucid dreaming gone crazy...if you haven't read my previous blog about lucid dreaming check it out, you might be interested in it if you liked the movie or at least the concept of it...

I'm now out...ready to start again

If I feel it or not so for now...

Night

Everything Seems Like A Lie When The Truth Is Told

Onwards with adventure, this morning I found myself laying on a trampoline looking straight up at the sky stuck between two people trying to sleep. When they left me and Danny were now inside sleeping bags which we called our "Caccoons" which came after a short discussion about an old show called Venture Brothers. "To the caccoon! My monarchs!" haha it's a pretty funny show. Then we used them as a transportation device and jumped our way inside the house and watched Valentines Day. I must admit, it was a pretty kool movie, but pretty sad though. Then I laid there while everyone else woke up and watched Half-Baked. The breakfast was made but I bearly ate. About one hash brown and a scoop of eggs. It wasn't long until we had to leave and I was home thinking about the fact that I had not gotten any sleep what so ever in two days. Our family then decided to adventure



I showered, got ready and jumped in the car. My first thought was to take a nap in the car and by the time we pulled out of our main street I was already gone. After an uncomfortable nap I woke up thinking I was on my way to vegas. The desert was all around me and cactus were the only plant in view. I was a little shocked. It was the usual "wait but I only slept for like 5 minutes" Yea, that's me....I took pictures of the landscape because it looked really kool. Then I realized we were going to palm springs. There we stopped at a Pizza Hut and there was were I posted my last blog. I ate like a pig and licked the grease dripping from the pizza (that's kinda nasty). Afterwards we went to the town and my dad had the brilliant idea to get off in 110 degree weather. Yeeea not so kool, we were all practically dyeing by the first 3 minutes, my dad insisted to continue walking but we convinced him not to. We then got on the road and I fell asleep again. I was then woken up by sharp turns and ups and downs. I was on my way to lake arrowhead and I truly enjoy it up there but I hate the drive there. The sharp turns the fact that your body won't stay still and then when you body slides from one side of the leather seat to the other...my god.

Once there we walked around and chilled at a park, they took pictures and I relaxed. I listened to a lot of music and found out about a couple new bands thanks to LastFm. We walked and stopped at McDonalds, I got a sweet tea while everyone else got ice cream.



The day then ended when we all decided to leave, we got home I napped and woke up to play guitar. I listened to music, talked to a friend on the phone and now I'm here, laying bed doing this...I'm probably going to watch some house and head to bed,

Night

America, The Oh So Great

So yes it's late but I'll explain in a bit

In my last post I ended the day


with a simple "night" like I always do, not thinking of the possibilities of the night extending. Well that's exactly what happened, Andrew hit me up and I left the house at 1 in the morning. We were celebrating and this time for reals. The last bachelor party was canceled and we were not able to do anything but this time we were actually doing something. Who cares If it was just three of us haha.
I got picked up and we headed to I-Hop! Haha there we had some hilarious conversation involving Japanese condoms, which I'm not going to explain, and we ended up scaring our waiter so much he had to escape from the back door. After that we left and went to Andrew's and Eddie's place of worship (I'm not sure of the name so that's all I'm going to say) if I recall correctly, Eddie is son of a head person of the church and he had the keys to the place. We went in and to be honest I was scared, the whole fact that it's a holy place and the fact that i always thought trespassing private property was a stupid crime to get in trouble for. There I learned more about their religion and how things work in there, he made fun of a couple things and people and we talked about dumb things like Left 4 Dead and BioShock haha. The night ended after that, I got dropped off home and I realized....that was just what I expected. That was the best bachelor party I might ever attend, It was really what was needed and what was expected, one of the chillest most memorable night. Thanks




So yesterday, the all glorious forth of July! Yeeeea big flipping woot! Me being puertorican, horned and raised there, I truly take no pride in this country, I am thankful of the place I am in and for all the opportunities I am given but I am a puertorican at heart and nothing can change that. If I were giving a choice to go back to Puerto Rico or stay here I would pick to stay here. I have my reasons and it sounds hypocritical and contradicting but It's another topic I have not touched on.

The 4th of July was spent at a park of my neighboring city, there I spent the day with friends and family, I ate weenies and enjoyed my time there. We stayed for fireworks and sat and watched, they were pretty kool, gotta admit. From there i got picked up by crystal's mom and Gaby and Vero, I were going to sleepover at their house. We picked up crystal at work and stopped by my house. From there we arrived at their "crib" and had loads of fun. I am going to explain all these exiting times in the next blog because I feel like this post is a little too long and I'm about to eat soo...

The first pic is a monster Andres drew on my fire extinguisher, and the other one are the fireworks...

I'll post another one later on

Stars, Stars and No Wish

The stars are out today, it's a beautiful sight. It's pretty common here but sometimes I don't appreciate it or every now and then the earth seems to be corrupted by light and it cover nature's beauty. The earth knows all the wonders it beholds but it is envious of others. Others where there is no one to block these wonders. Where the human race grows on top of what used to be the true natural flow, something that we now see as a specter or something of similar. Something rare and beautiful, but at the same time it can be shocking and terrifying. It's almost like the idea of love, people search for it and make an image for it but they don't stop to realize it's all around even if it's not the same pretty picture someone once drew for you. Love can be harsh but at the same time needed and breathtaking. Just like nature and that's why I love it so much haha.

That all was pretty random haha, today I went to a friend's graduation party. With that I congratulate you my friend, my hugging buddy haha. Whatever challenges may come forth I'm sure you'll be able to overcome them, so congrats and good luck. There I had a good time haha, I spent time with a lot of friends and talked about lot of things. I was also thinking of things that bother me, I'm not one to be annoyed or bothered but certain things bug. The one thing that gets on my nerve is when people tell you they gotta tell you something and then they never do, or when they tell you they have to ask you something and when you remind them they tell you it's not important haha. It's something simple but it bugs me, I don't care how insignificant that question was, I don't care haha I just wish to know.

There are other things that bug me but I don't really like complaining haha. Today I was thinking of how people try and try but never achieve. I ask my self, "did they not try hard enough" or "was it just not meant to be" and I never find an answer. There are times when the failure is so unexpected, I am shocked and found in amazement. I try for this not to bother me but sometimes is just some people really deserved it. I don't know, maybe I was wrong or maybe "it just wasn't meant to be" they both seem like a dumb excuse.

So that's all folks...I don't know but I'm going to watch some House, I'm obsessed with that show!


The picture is unrelated haha

Night

Bridges I Can Not Pass

Yea, im late...whatevers

I really want to continue with the whole log thing but i have seriously been too lazy. I've spent days doing nothing. I see this as a chore or a duty but thats not the truth. When i started i feared getting to this point. When i see other's blogs and similar things i see that it just needs getting used to. If i can constantly do it i will become used to it and it will be something required for me to sleep, something that if i don't do i will feel betrayed by my self. Yes, i have explained myself before, i am a procrastinator but everyday life gets a little rougher and i can't be leaving things in a bag stashed aways because when i least expect it that bag is going to be in front of me and its going to be huge. So this is a sort of discipline or learning block to improve myself. I have never been the one to try to help myself do crap. I usually continue not doing anything or not giving a damn about life and i succeed. I see so many things everyday and realize and can't leave everything up to luck and chance. I usually let people decide and i go along because to e honest nothing bothers me. People have stepped on me before and i have not cared what so ever, if thats what they need to do they can go ahead and do it even if it means leaving me on the side. I also understand that this is not a way of living and i'm not the type that lets things slide by, i see them and administer them but when i see that they mean no harm to me i just leave them be and i continue to watch them as they affect others. It's somewhat selfish, to just sit back and watch but then again i'm peoples doormat for what ever they attempt to do.

I got a little out of line but what i'm trying to say is that i need to continue this and be punctual about it. If i do this i can learn to be the person i'm supposed to be haha..get me? Even if no one cares what the hell i did that day or even if no one reads these im still going to do them to better myself. The few people that read these is the reason i got to realize that i need to keep doing this. Not to be loyal but to become who i need to be haha...this might make no sense but whatever, its whats on my mind and its pretty pointless

The picture i took yesterday and i found it funny because i could not distinguish if it was a male or female. The artist clearly added female attributes but made his face with a male in mind. His string jaw and chin line, broad forehead and rough neck...i'm still not sure

so ill post something later on for todays adventure

see ya

Hooray!

Today I got to hang out with two of my friends but most importantly one that I had not hung out with in a while. This kid is crazy in a literal sense, this is the type of guy that is always down to do anything...even jumo off a roof. But at times he becomes that friend that you see a lot and everything but you still question your self asking if your still close to him like you use to. You know he's your friend no matter what but you just haven't been there for him in ages so you just feel like he's distant. That's how I at first felt with him. I love thing kid but I've just been doing things and he's been doing his own stuff as well, we have not had time to kick it. Well when he got there we walked a but load but just by the first couple minutes I knew this was the same fool I've always known. He's still crazy, he's still hilarious and he's still down for anything haha. My other friend felt a little weird well cause this is only like the 3rd time they hang out together so he was still getting to know him. Me being the crazy kid I was with him and the kid I still am now started singing "Dancing Queen" at the top of my lungs as we exited Target so he could attempt to dance to my singing. It was hilarious, i also made a hip hop beat and he came in and actually rapped and made it flow like no ones business haha. We used to be both crazy but I calmed down. I for some reason didn't want to do dumb things anymore, I'm not sure why. One of the reasons is that we bearly saw each other and when we did we just kicked it, nothing special. Thanks to today I was pretty much able to remember the old days when a lot of crap didn't matter. When you making a complete fool of yourself was one of the most hilarious things you could do. When sticking your head out of the car and singing Taking Back Sunday and Bayside lyrics at the top of your lungs was the most stress releasing thing you could do. Those were the days.

Well kicking it with him pretty much deprived me of all the energy I had. We walked a lot so n we got here I showered and slept. I just napped and napped haha. It was pretty relaxing, sleeping while listening to Minus The Bear.

"we talked about growing old and filling the future's empty stage"

"I hope the weather holds, but you don't need the sun to make you shine, these island towns don't care for city folk but I know we can start the city from our minds...I know we won't run for much it's just you and me and a bed and a shoreline"

These are both lyrics from what must be one of my favorite minus songs. "This Ain't A Surfing Movie" the first phrase is a piece I always loved and the long verse is actually the last thing he says in the song and it's why it's my favorite. It always reminds me of a very special friend. That same friend provided me with the second picture of the hibiscus flower. I must admit it's very beautiful and it's served as my background for a couple days now. The first pic is my crazy friend being a pirate haha and the third picture is from my other special friend that sent me this crazy as pic while I was writing this up. I must also admit this picture is pretty extreme, these girls should be pros haha.

Other than that, that is all I have to say today. Hopefully this post was a little more dedicated that the other recent ones that we pure crap. Oh and Hooray to the fact that it's July!!! Haha the title of the blog is also a song by Minus The Bear so check that out haha

Alright

I'm out

My Sharona

So today,




It started out pretty simple. I woke up and hung out my room, I then started to listen to my music when I was rudely interrupted by my sister. I got ready and headed off to my friend's Fernando's apartments to go swim and eat some weenies. We got there, cooked some hotdogs on his grill and went to the pool there we kicked it for a bit and I ate 4 weenies. We then go in the pool, hung out played and stuff. I gotta admit I suck at holding my breath underwater but I dominate at chicken haha.

The day then went on, I went home and Fernando is now spending the night at my house. My sister went to go see avatar the last Airbender on the midnight premiere while me and Fern kick it here at home. I'm kinda hungry though.

I'm going to let you guys go cause I have nothing to talk about, I should get back into being more dedicated in my blogs but then again I'm probably the laziest kid you know :)

I thought that pic was funny enjoi

Night