Choice Hops and Bottled Self Esteem

I guess I miss a lot of people, some more than others...

Lately these nights have been filled with these feelings that run through my body when the lights go out...


It's one of the questions too, "do you sometimes feel the urge to separate your self from others and be left to your inner thoughts" haha umm where's the answer that says "very fucking frequently." it's ironic to feel this way and share my feelings in the blog, but the truth is I doubt many read this, so it's a way for me to kind of connect with those who feel insulted when I exclude myself.

Another question was something like, "Do you range from being happy, exited and optimistic to sad, tearful, and pessimistic" That's another obvious answer, but I guess everyone feels this way and goes through this. The question I asked myself is that if they go through it this frequently.

I don't let this bother me but like any other nuisance, it itches your spine at times. This would be one of these times I guess.

I have never been one to give direct answers. I always add a "I guess" a "well we could" or "whatever"...sometimes "if" haha. That's because It's not that I'm afraid of the outcome, it's more like I'm curious to see both. Yea
I admit I sometimes do hesitate but I've notices I've been trying to change that a lot. I still hesitate but I end with an answer, not an opinion.

I feel as if lately I've changed a lot, yea I've separated myself from many just because I don't want to be another nuisance, and I've grown closer to others, well...another to be precise.

Not by a lot but enough for me.

Sorry, you might think I'm freaking crazy by now but i don't know, this is how I feel I guess. I know, I'm lame, you tell me constantly haha but i don't know...this is just a side of me. You mean a bunch to me my friend. You don't even know.

Oh and I'm fine, I just listen to music too late. It always gets to me...

You know those songs that the lyrics don't really make sense, but for some reason they relate to you and make you feel like your part of it? Haha I love those

I guess, this is like one of those

Nothing makes sense but It seems like it all applies to me and makes sense to me, makes me feel like I'm part of it.

For now, I'm out

Goodnight

Lights…Lines…Headlights!

As we slid, I entered the stage with dim red and white lights. The place seemed still but with fluidity, as if the still lights continued to show the moving ones. The affects of life's back didn't help the cause. Music played fast yet slow, not symphonically but to the same beat. The night was fine, the drizzle didn't seem to affect wheels that lines could not stop, dashed or solid. It was a lost cause. Comments that spark fire are comments better said to one's self. Even though I leave a trace, don't be drawn away from the facts. The night is young and anything could happen. Life and death might just visit and give us a warm welcome or a rough goodbye. We the unexperienced will never know, or dream close to knowing how it exchanges the most sacred of all things. Maybe it might forget us but for now we just left home and the trip back is a long one. For now, let us depend on the stopping mechanism.