So Far Left, It's Right

Hello there, its been a while haha

So i took a little break from the whole daily blogging to come up with better thoughts and such. I felt like the blog kept getting dryer and dryer so that was my end result. But now im back and my mind is full of thoughts and my phone is full of pictures haha

This past week has been rather chaotic, in a good way. Instead of staying home and doing nothing like usual summer days are spent in this bare city i spent them doing unimaginable things!!! like....walking haha and doing stuff haha

The week was full of random encounters with people i hadn't seen in ages and fun times with the usual people i kick it with. I bearly got any sleep this week and it hasn't been a problem what so ever. I would explain every day with clear details if i could but i am a goldfish and my memory is joke. I don't remember crap haha. Non the less i had loads of fun. My cousins that were staying at my house are now gone and ummm i don't miss them haha they were fun and all but i usually don't miss people, as sad as that might sound. I had loads of fun with them and i can't wait till i go visit them in Puerto Rico this winter.

Another big thing that happened was my friend is now married. The kid that ive known for the longest time is now married. congrats :)

My undeserving break brought about multiple things, it actually got me to work on my art a little more and I got a couple sketches done. They aren't too great but yet again their just sketches. My summer is kinda screwed now. My art teacher sent me my summer assignment to enter Advanced Placement Art and it's a B****....I have to go out and buy over 100 dollars on supplies for a class that is going to be useless thanks to the unprofessional teacher I have. Whatever. My drawings have been getting better and no thanks to him... The sketches that I'm showing were completely out of randomness. The one with multiple arms wasn't even meant to be that. I started to sketch lines and ended up with arms and finished with a man. I didn't know what to do for the faces so I kept them white on both...I look at my art and I am proud but I usually end up throwing it aside or hiding it because no matter what I draw it usually ends up being amazing through my eyes but horrid through the eyes of others. I still haven't found support for the grotesque art I make and enjoy so I tend to back off on it, especially on a class where everyone loves drawing pretty eyes, mountain tops, hearts, beautiful portraits and babies...this is not the place is belong in haha

That brings me to my recent thought. After seeing peoples life's and reading peoples adventures, I am eager to leave this town. I don't hate this town, I believe it's a great place to live and grow up but not a place for free-minded, imaginative people. The whole city is built on a rubric that people must follow. Well that's how I see it. People here don't see a problem so they don't change or explore. Big cities are where people don't know each other, but friends are abundant. A place where everything you need is around the corner and repetitive. Where walking is recommended and driving is ridiculous. Haha cities like LA, Seattle, Santa Fe, San Fran, NY and others. This is what usual teens say and think of but I find myself finding a deeper though in it. I don't feel the need to escape my home or get out of this place, I just think it would be easier to be myself in those places where people don't care but they express.

This also reminds me of another thought or I should say, feeling. That feeling of being needed. This is not something that bothers me frequently but I always think of it...Do they really need me? Am I just an object? Am I here just for them? Crap like that, I usually never ask my self this but when I do I find myself in a crash course of realizing little details in people but I always end up where I started...not caring haha. It's just that simple, those things don't bother me. I don't care, I love doing things for others in return of nothing. Reviving doesn't make me feel alive, exploring, living, and giving is a good enough present for me haha. It's that simple...

In between the last paragraph and this one there was a time gap...even though you can't see it there was a pretty big one. The last paragraph was written past monday and it's now Sunday. I originally wanted this break to be a week long but things happened that made me extend it. I also realized I'm afraid of posting this because that means I have to go back to doing it daily and even though I've missed it sooo much I feel like I am not ready. But I am and I will post this today.

I'm that extra week so many good things happened but so many went wrong as well. I

don't want to explain just know that at times I felt like I was truly enjoying myself but now I kinda feel like a complete asshole by ruining someones special day, their birthday...sooo yea that's all I have to say about that...I just came home from watching the movie inception...go watch it, it's practically lucid dreaming gone crazy...if you haven't read my previous blog about lucid dreaming check it out, you might be interested in it if you liked the movie or at least the concept of it...

I'm now out...ready to start again

If I feel it or not so for now...

Night